Some insights I have learned so far:
I will not date someone with no kids, or at least I will be very hesitant to. This may sound weird to some people, or backwards, but there is a reason. My kids are my priority, and even if you hear those words and agree with them in your head, I don't think you can fully understand if you are not a parent yourself. Also, I need someone who will understand that when my ex calls, or texts, I will answer him. Because he has my kids. Because they are the priority. I will not stay on the phone with him for an extended chat, but I will answer. I need the person I am dating to have a grasp on that, not take it personally, and not be weird about it.
Also, I don't think I can date someone who hasn't been married, or at least in a fairly long term, committed, serious relationship. I was with my husband for 15 years. I grew up with him. He has been a part of my life, and the majority of my life experiences for all of my adult life. He also will continue to be a factor in my life. So the man that I date needs to be secure enough in himself, in me, and in our dating to know that if I make an off hand comment about what so-and-so always says, it is not personal. I can't just pretend he doesn't exist. I tried. It doesn't work well.
Next, if the man has more than one "baby-mama" someplace, that doesn't necessarily bother me. If the man has more than one "baby-mama" who for some reason or another denies him access to his children, then I have to look at what the common denominator is. I know there is a story to everything, but really, I have to evaluate just how deeply into your story I want to go.
I want the guy to have his own life. I mean really, you had a life before you met me, I have a life still. I don't like the whole, "I'm here whenever you want to see me" thing. That's nice for a day, but come on, really? Do something. I want to know that they are spending time with me because they want to, and not because there was nothing else better to do. It is totally ok with me if the man has plans on any given day and can't hang out. That is an indication of a well rounded person, and not a sad sack.
And spiritual beliefs matter. So do politics. Even if you are an idiot and are wrong, have an opinion. Don't copy mine, don't tell me you don't think about it. Have an opinion. You live in this world, pay attention.
Don't ask me to buy you dinner. It's just not cool. If we are dating for awhile, and actually have am established relationship, I will gladly pay. Not on a first date. Or a second. Nice try.
Ok, so I think that is about it for my rambling today.
Today has been spent on the phone with Seattle, and texting with him also. He is at home with his little boy today, so that is pretty cute. Still looking forward to a Friday night date.
Thanks for stopping by.
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