Hide your crazy

Now comes the hard part. 
Now I have to be normal.  I haven't dated anyone casually, seems like in forever.  So I don't really know how to do it.  I know how to be in an "all in, or all out" relationship.  This is a learning curve for me.  To show interest, be myself, and not be too, I don't know, eager, or whatever the word is. 
It is harder than you would think, playing it cool.  Hiding your crazy. 
I have gotten kind of used to the bad first date, and that's not so bad, it's just a bad date, and I never have to talk to them again. 
This, this is harder.
This is paying attention to how many texts you send vs how many they send.  It is not calling them and waiting for them to call you.  It is holding your cards a little closer to the chest. 
I am not a good gambler. 
This takes patience, and a knowledge that I don't know if I have. 
People are asking me how it is going, but I honestly don't know.  What I think is good, he may not, and vice versa.  So for today, it seems ok, but that could change over night. 
I don't know if he is talking to anyone else.  I don't want to ask, and run the risk of making it weird.  So I am waiting, and trying to play the game that I feel like everyone else knows the rules for, and I have just been dealt in. 
We will see.